Today was good!

I had my first lesson of the week and it was fantastic. We started about 45 minutes late because the new straps I bought for Kid's breast collar were too stiff to fasten. We decided to ditch the breast collar and were on our way. My focus today was to get Kid to stop trying to get back to the barn as we circled past it. Every time I felt he was going to go against my direction, I gave him a little kick to keep him moving forward.

In the barn, before and after the ride, Kid and I made good progress. When I went to put his halter on him in the stall, I told him "back" and eventually he stood in the corner like he is supposed to. I used the lead rope to pop him on the chest while I said "back" and it seemed to work. After the ride, when I put him back in the stall he went straight to the corner until I left. When I came back with his food, it was "back" again and a couple of times more to make him stay while I put the food in his bucket. He stayed until I turned my back and left. I was soooo excited.

We are making progress!

Sometimes My Horse is a Butt

Even though Kid can be such a butt sometimes and I'm still relatively new to riding, I don't think I am amiss in saying we are making progress.

• I can put all of his tack on correctly by myself.
• I can get on Kid without anyone having to hold him.
  
• He almost never refuses to lift his hooves anymore and is actually starting to lift without my having to ask.
• He moves back in his stall when instructed to "move" about 50% of the time. The rest of the time I have to flick his chest with the lead rope and say "move" until he actually does..
• I am able to get him to go the direction I want to go 100% of the time, HOWEVER he still tries to head back to the barn to get his dinner. On the upside, I have been able to practice turning. Overall, I want him to focus on me rather than food. Is this even possible?
• I am able to feed him with about 50% more control than a couple of weeks ago (that's not saying much). :(
  

On the downside, I feel the ground work needs to improve before I can even focus on trotting AND I'm starting to second-guess myself which isn't good. I really want to go back to the round pen again and start from the beginning. Also, I must lose weight in order to get on Kid without the block. There is no way I can ride in the pasture or on the trails by myself until I do.

I knew learning to ride wouldn't be easy but I honestly didn't think I would struggle as much as I am. I wish I could practice more than twice a week.

Practically Perfect in Every Way

I took part of last week and all of this week off to work out "the mess that is inside". Thursday was day 1 and I spent time writing and crying all of which was very productive. Around 1:30 I got a call that Kid was sick and the vet had been called. They thought it was probably colic. I got dressed and headed toward the barn. I cried some more during the drive over but kept repeating that Kid was "...useful, harmless, and indestructible" and was God's idea. By the time I arrived, fear was gone and had been replaced by peace and gratitude. God and his Love was with Kid and everyone involved that day.

I ended up spending the night at the barn even though I really didn't need to. It was so peaceful and I got to see what horses and cows do at night...nothing.

Thanks be to God!

Moving in Circles

This past week has been tough emotionally. My confidence and self-esteem are low which makes taking criticism next to impossible. Successes are just not good enough and mistakes are total failures. Even though I feel like I'm moving in circles I know this is all part of going forward and leaving the past behind. On the upside, the week's experiences have helped see where I need improvement:

1. 80% on a quiz is not bad especially when you haven't read the material (note to self: read material)

2. Obedience from your horse while riding does not equal obedience when you are not riding (note to self: get help before things get worse and all of John's training is ruined and Kid is a monster)

That feels better.

Bonnie Claire sent me some new pictures of Rupert. He just moved out to the new barn where there is plenty of lovely forage. He still has lots of weight to put on but it will happen. His big Quarter Horse butt will be back before we know it. I miss him so much.

This afternoon I will go see Kid and get me some sweet horsey kisses.